Should..Should..Should...

I haven’t seen my therapist since February because she retired. We both agreed that I didn’t need to see her regularly anymore (I’m cured ;-), but she is available if/when I need her.

Anyway, just because I’m not in therapy anymore doesn’t mean I’m not still learning stuff about myself. Recently, I realized another area in which I “should” myself constantly.

I suppose some people might envy those who are traveling across Europe, like my friend Irene; raising super cool little kids, like too many of my friends to even count (you know who you are); writing some pithy, hilarious, and popular blog like my blogger friend Kristina; trying to improve Non Muslim/Muslim relations in the U.S. like Marcus’ friend Kara; living a super fun life in New York City like my cousin Meredith; but not me.

Instead, I compare whatever interesting thing they’re doing with whatever uninteresting thing I’m doing, and immediately think something along the lines of “Why aren’t I doing something that interesting (or important or fun or active or cool or whatever)? I should be doing something that interesting.”

Should, should, should. It’s very tiring constantly thinking of all the things you should be doing. I suspect that it is more tiring than actually doing any of those things. (Ok, well maybe not parenting).

Anyway, I don’t have a solution to this particular should problem. I just find it interesting. The really funny thing is that I'm pretty sure I thought that way on occasion even when I was teaching full-time at a university at the age of 23. That in and of itself is pretty interesting.